Changes

Kaia’titáhkhe Jacobs’ husband Kenneth built their home after the couple was married. Here, they raised their 4 children. (Courtesy: Kaia’titáhkhe Jacobs)

Story told by Kaia’titákhe Jacobs

It’s so different now. One of the main things I find, when I was raising my children, how it really was a community that raised a child. It was different. Children respected elders more and listened to them more, even if it wasn’t their own parents. That’s changed.

Now, there’s no such thing as somebody correcting a child that’s not theirs. Whereas before, it was considered fine.

When my daughter had her first child, a little boy, we were sitting down like this and talking, and he kept interrupting her.

I said, “Geez Kathy, things have changed. When you were little and I was talking to somebody, you never interrupted.”

She said, “No wonder, Ma. You’d say ‘Get out there and play!’” Kids had a lot of room to play out there in those days.

Of course my daughter and I now have a laugh about it.

She had accepted the social norms, where you listen to your children, you talk with them. That was not my experience growing up. Children were seen and not heard.

That’s a major change, and I have to tell you it’s really good. I’ve seen the difference between my grandchildren and great-grandchildren and my children. These parents are much more hands-on and involved in the little ones.