detach with love
Tealey and her family during Christmas in 1990. (from left to right) Anthony, Thomas, Tealey, Mavis, Carol, Guy. (Courtesy: Tealey Ka’senni:saks Normandin)
Story told by Tealey Ka’senni:saks Normandin
The first year of knowing my birth family was absolutely amazing. Meeting all my aunties, and all of my cousins, going to their houses, having Christmas dinner together.
I would have a lot of quiet talks with my mother on her back deck by the pool. My birth mother helped me a lot. She told me my father’s name and helped my children and I get status. I remember we went to some office, she spoke Mohawk for about five minutes, and within a month I had my status.
Then we found a sister that was in New York, who was a year younger than me, and adopted through the same agency. So, my whole birth family went down to visit her for the American Thanksgiving.
That had to be the most beautiful times I ever spent with them all. My sister had a big log cabin, her family was there, we took pictures together, and it was so surreal.
We were a family, and it felt so good. Yet, coming home in the car, I can remember having this pain in my heart that I had betrayed my adoptive mother. As soon as I got home here in Sainte-Catherine, I said my thank yous to everybody in the car and told them it’s the best time that our family spent together. I ran upstairs to my mom’s apartment, and I just hugged her. It wasn’t the easiest place to be in.
Although that first year with my family was amazing, it was also overwhelming, it felt like a lot to absorb. Life kind of took over, I wasn’t on the healthiest path, and so we kind of lost contact until about eight years ago when I moved from Lasalle to Sainte-Catherine.
I made my home in Sainte-Catherine, and I decided to have a party to celebrate. It wasn’t a housewarming party, it had nothing to do with the house, but instead it was a homecoming.
So, from then on, I tried to be in touch and reconnect with my family. But the conclusion that I came to, and I say this with the utmost love in my heart, was that it was extremely painful for my birth mom and my siblings, and then I realized reconnecting with them was extremely painful for me as well. I decided to detach with love. I know who they are, I love them. But I don’t want to be a reminder of their past pain.
Tealey Normandin (right) and her biological sister Denise Chenel (left) were adopted outside of Kahnawake during the Sixties Scoop. (Courtesy: Tealey Ka'senni:saks Normandin)
KANIEN’KÉHA VERSION
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KANIEN’KÉHA VERSION ↓
Kanoronhkwáhtshera' taonsaiatiatekháhsi'
Tealey Ka’senni:saks Normandin (left) and her adopted mother Pauline Normandin (right) together in 2023. (Courtesy: Tealey Ka’senni:saks Normandin)
Tealey Ka’senni:saks Normandin IAKOKÁ:RATON
Kwah í:ken tsi iorihwanehrakwahtòn:ne' tsi niiohserò:ten sha'kheientéhrha'ne ne ionkwatéwe'ton akhwá:tsire'. Tsi wa'kheientéhrha'ne' akwé:kon ne khe'nistenhokòn:'a, onkwara'se'okòn:'a, tsi wa'khenonhsarà:seron', tsi Rotón:ni wa'tiakwá:tonte'.
Iotkà:te' shah thikénhne' wa'tiakenihthá:ren' ake'nisténha' nakoskwen'nà:ke ohnà:ken nonkwá:ti ákta ne tsi iontawenstáhkhwa'. É:so iontienawà:se' ne ionkwatéwe'ton. Ionkhró:ri tsi nihohsennò:ten rake'níha tánon' wa'onkhiié:nawa'se kheien'okòn:'a tánon' nì:'i aiakwaié:na' tsi nitionkwé:non ierihwahnirátstha' kahiatónhsera'. Kè:iahre' ok na'kanonhsò:ten' tsi iehiatónhkhwa' ia'ákwe', aktóntie' wísk nikahseriiè:take wa'ontá:ti' Kanien'kéha tánon' ká:ron' sewenhnì:ta niió:re wa'onkwahiatonhseraién:ta'ne ierihwahnirátstha'.
Sok wa'akwatate'ken'seratshén:ri' néne Kanón:no tiè:teron, tsóhsera ká:ron nitiakó:ien' tsi ní:ioht nì:'i, tánon' ne sha'kanónhsa kentióhkwaien' tetiekón:hen. Né: ki', akwé:kon tsi nihá:ti ionkwaté'weton akhwá:tsire' eh ia'ákwe' ia'akhinatahré:nahse' ne Wastonhnéha tsi na'teiontenonhwerá:tons aorihwà:ke.
Kwah í:ken tsi iorihwaskatstòn:ne' nen' nè:'e thí:ken néne nonwén:ton akwé:kon skátne ionkwaterakén:rion. Kanonhsowá:nen tekaronta'serónnion iakononhsó:tahkwe' ne iatiatate'kèn:'a, eh thón:ne'skwe' akohwá:tsire', skátne wa'tiakwatatia'tarónnion', kwah tsi ní:ioht ne iah tó:kenske tekénhne'.
Akwé:kon kahwá:tsire' kénhne' nì:'i, tánon' ahsì:ron' tsi niion'wesénhne'. Shé:kon ki', ka'seréhtakon shitia'titáhkhe' shonsonkwahtentionhátie', kè:iahre' ok ní:ioht iononhwáktehkwe' nakwerià:ne tsi ní:ioht tóka' wa'khe'nikonhrhà:ten' ne teionkkón:hen ake'nisténha. Kawenní:io'k shonsá:kewe' kèn:tho Sainte-Catherine, wa'tekhenonhweratónnion' akwé:kon ka'seréhtakon ratiià:ti, tánon' wa'khehró:ri' tsi nè:'e ne naonhà:'a tiorihwáskats néne nonwén:ton kahwatsirakwé:kon skátne ionkwaterakén:rion. È:neken ia'tkaráhtate' tsi niió:re nake'nisténha tsi iontientáhkhwa', tánon' nek wa'khehnià:sa'. Iah tho tewatiesénhne' neh naié:iere'.
Aronhátien ki' wáhi tsi niiorihwanehrákwaht thí:ken tiotohseratierénhton wa'tiakwatátken' nakhwá:tsire', é:so tsi wa'tewake'nikonhrakenhé:ia'te', kwah tsi ní:ioht ne ó:nen'k tsi é:so ia'kahnéhkwane'. Thò:ne ki' ohén:ton nionsá:we' tsi kónhnhe', iah tho teiohaha'karí:te' tewakathahitáhkhene', kwah tonsaiakwatatewennáhton'se' tsi niió:re sha'té:kon niiohserá:ke tsi náhe' sha'tkaná:tahkwe' Lasalle eh ionsakátien' Sainte-Catherine.
Eh ia'kaná:taien' Sainte-Catherine, tánon ia'tewakerihwaién:ta'se' akenenhrón:ni' nakatonhnhà:ren'. Iah eh teió:wen ne akenonhsaná:wenhte', iah othé:nen ne kanónhsa' teiorihwà:kehkwe', khé:ken tonsaionkenonhwerá:ton' nen' nè:'e tsi sá:kewe' wáhi.
Thò:ne ki', wa'kate'nién:ten' akhewennahrónkhake' tánon' taonsaiakwatékha' akhwá:tsire'. Nek tsi tsi nahò:ten' tonsatia'tó:rehte', kwah kanoronhkwahtsherowanèn:ke ká:ton kí:ken, tsi é:so tonkóhton wahatironhiá:ken' nake'nisténha ionkwatéwe'ton tánon' iakwatate'ken'okòn:'a, sok ionsákhewe' tsi tonkóhton enkeronhiá:ken' nakerihwà:ke' ò:ni' ne taonsaiakwatékha'. Ia'tonsonkerihwaién:ta'se' ki' kanoronhkwáhtshera' taonsaiatiatekháhsi'. Kheienté:ri tsi nihatiia'tò:ten, khenorónhkhwa'. Nek tsi iah té:kehre raoná:wen ohnà:ken tewenhniseraténion karonhiakénhsera natia'to'ténhake'.
Edited by: Kassidy Jacobs, Local Journalism Initiative Reporter
Translated by Karonhí:io Delaronde